Monday, 11 May 2009

I live in my head, is that odd to you?

I choose to live in my head because it's the one place I feel safe. I see the people that I want to see, and I'm in a place I want to be in. I can bring the people far away from me close enough to touch, and I can imagine them as I remember them best, not on their worst days.
Memories for me are hard to come by as just when I think I remember someone, I meet a completely different person in the same body. It's as if I only remember what I want to, not what's really there. I wish I had a better memory as many things are lost on me. And sometimes I built up my hopes for something which was never there in the first place. When I was a kid my family and I would go to America every other year to see my relatives. All my mums side are out there so there's about 30 people crammed into a house by Little Lake Sunapee for the summer break in New Hampshire. I love it there and it's like a second home, but for some reason it seems to be getting less homely every time I go there. To the point where I'm wondering if it was ever as good as I imagined it. There are less people there every year now, with people working, or having kids. It seems kind of empty. I miss the old days.
So some days I like to take some time out to remember the good parts of life before I forget them completly. I don't want to forget the times I spent at the lake and the people I laughed with. Even if it was so long ago.

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