Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Wasting Minutes

In the long run, is school all that important?
Recently I've had to make a lot of decisions about what college I'm going to, what courses I take, and what Uni course I'm planning on doing. Why is it so important?
Everyones making a big deal of the whole thing and if I'm honest, I couldn't care less. I don't want to decide what the rest of my life is like when I'm 16. I want to live for the unknown. People these days are so small minded. They can't see the bigger picture. Why would I spend every minute of every day studying to get pristine grades when I could go see the world. I hope to learn more from experiencing the real thing first hand, than by sitting in a class doodling on a scrap of paper while a dull professor rambles on.
For some people I know getting the grades is important, and I can sympathise. I used to be that way. But so many things in my life has changed the way I look at it. You don't know how long you're going to live for, and I'd rather live life as a lion for a day, than as a sloth for a lifetime( or something along those lines). There are so many people out there to meet and so many landscapes to be made speechless by. Why waste time staring at a textbook.
I want to be one of those people who is known for their knowledge of everything and anything. Some ones who's travelled, seen the world, learnt a lot, and not all out of a textbook. Where's the fun?
These days there's no fun in anything. You can't go down to your local chemist, pick up some chemicals and make explosions in your back garden. You can't scale ropes in gym class in case, heaven forbid, you should fall. A few bruises never hurt anyone. By being safe all the time your missing out on all the good stuff. People are scared of so many things, but only because they haven't experienced them. Most people scared of roller coasters have never sat in one. Most people scared of heights, often haven't been very high up. And people scared of spiders, in general, have never touched one. People are scared of getting hurt when the realism is that the chance of anything bad happening is miniscule. I always say try something once, and if its fun, do it again. But never say no to a new experience, because you cant judge something you've never tried.
I don't think there's a single person out there who hasn't been offered the chance to do something and turned it down, then a while later, get offered the same chance, and accepted, and found out they should have said yes the first time. Don't turn down what could be the rest of your life.

Why waste minutes when you could enjoy the seconds.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

I Won't Forget, I Can't Afford To

You never know how much you love something until you realise you might lose it forever.

3 days ago I noticed my mouse, Biscuit, had a lump on her side. We took her to the vets and they said she'd need to go into surgery to find out what it was. It was likely to be an absess from a cut but there was a risk it could be a tumour.

Today she went in for surgery and it turns out it was a tumour. She's back home but I can't introduce her to her sister Elvis for a week because of the stitches. My point is I've had them both for 6 months and up until a few days ago I didn't really pay much attention to them or hold them. But as soon as I saw the lump my mind went into guilt mode. I realised just how much time I'd wasted not taking care of them.

Last night I put my hand into the cage and Biscuit placed her front paws on my finger and I fell in love with her again instantly. I held her for a bit, trying but failing to make up for so much lost time. I put her back knowing there was a small chance I would never see her again. And I cried. People who know me will tell you that I don't cry... ever. But I couldn't help it. I wish I could go back and spend the last 6 months getting to know them better.

My worry is that the tumour is gone, but with mice you can't always count on the whole tumour being removed as they're so small. From now on I'm going to try to be with them as much as possible. I can't afford to take advantage of the time anymore, not after realising just how quickly they could be taken from me.


Friday, 17 April 2009

Respect In Small Ways

Why is it that no matter how hard we work to please someone, they're never happy? You can work your butt off for them, going out of you way to impress and yet still you never get their respect. They say small things can make a big difference, but they never specified how many small things it takes. You have to give respect to get it, right? But what if you give respect for no reason and still can't seem to get a second look. Everyone's lives revolve around what everyone else thinks. What they wear, what they say, how they act. What happened to just being yourself. I've noticed recently that sometimes the people you try to impress aren't the people worth impressing in the first place. Looking back, I've changed so much in the last few years just to fit into everyone else's life styles. It's only now that I've started lapsing back into who I really am. I'm realising that who I want to be isn't who I've become. I've said a lot of stupid things and done a lot of them too, but the only reason I did them in the first place is to fit in. Acting as myself people have treated me differently, in a good way. They may not have realised it themselves but going back on myself, it is the small things that have made a big difference. I've gained respect from the people I value most and it makes life all the more worth while. I now know that I don't have to change to enjoy the life I'm living, I just have to be me.

Monday, 6 April 2009

I Remember

I Remember

I remember the breeze
As it blew off the lake
The fluttering birds
And the noises they make
I remember the moon
Hanging there in the sky
The tree covered mountain
That grew up so high
I remember your face
On that warm sunny day
Your stunning blue eyes
That met mine of grey
I remember your hand
Wrapped around mine
The sound of your voice
Making everything fine
I remember the beat
That my heart seemed to skip
When your arm came to rest
On the curve of my hip
I remember the warmth
That surrounded my soul
When you whispered "I love you,
My only, my all"

Sunday, 5 April 2009

I Am The Grass

I Am The Grass

I am the grass beneath your feet
The blossoms that smell oh so sweet
I am the buzz of all the bees
The leaves that rustle in the breeze
I am the map that guides you back
Along the hard and weary track
I am the sun that lights your day
The things you always want to say
I am the love within your heart
The sadness when we have to part
I am the voice when you're alone
The siren call that brings you home.