Tuesday, 21 April 2009

I Won't Forget, I Can't Afford To

You never know how much you love something until you realise you might lose it forever.

3 days ago I noticed my mouse, Biscuit, had a lump on her side. We took her to the vets and they said she'd need to go into surgery to find out what it was. It was likely to be an absess from a cut but there was a risk it could be a tumour.

Today she went in for surgery and it turns out it was a tumour. She's back home but I can't introduce her to her sister Elvis for a week because of the stitches. My point is I've had them both for 6 months and up until a few days ago I didn't really pay much attention to them or hold them. But as soon as I saw the lump my mind went into guilt mode. I realised just how much time I'd wasted not taking care of them.

Last night I put my hand into the cage and Biscuit placed her front paws on my finger and I fell in love with her again instantly. I held her for a bit, trying but failing to make up for so much lost time. I put her back knowing there was a small chance I would never see her again. And I cried. People who know me will tell you that I don't cry... ever. But I couldn't help it. I wish I could go back and spend the last 6 months getting to know them better.

My worry is that the tumour is gone, but with mice you can't always count on the whole tumour being removed as they're so small. From now on I'm going to try to be with them as much as possible. I can't afford to take advantage of the time anymore, not after realising just how quickly they could be taken from me.


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