Thursday, 11 June 2009

No More Repeats

I need sleep so badly. 2 weeks of late nights, hours upon hours of revising, and early morning wake up calls. I'm grumpy, snappy, I can't seem to get on with anyone. I hate it. It's like I'm not me. Like something is leaching from my body. All my energy, my inner strength, is gone. My thoughts are slowly returning to me and for that I'm grateful. But it's like a child took me apart, stuck me back together again in the wrong order, and was left with a screw that just didn't seem to fit anywhere, when really it holds all of me together. I don't want to talk, I don't want to eat. All I can think about is how amazing this summer is going to be. Well, what it might be if I can pull myself together. I want to enjoy this summer for myself. I want to make time for my friends, not just have it readily available, I want to get things done, not leave a day without a purpose. What's more. I want to meet someone. Not in the romantic, destiny kind of way. I just want to meet someone new. The world around me at the moment is like a movie I've watched too many times. Everything's the same. Like a song on repeat. The lyrics get all too familiar. You know what they're going to say, but you dare yourself not to say it, hoping without reason that it might be different this time. I want to make something of this year. No more repeats.