Thursday, 2 July 2009

The Right Choice


The Right Choice

The right choice
What is that?
Just something you must make
Out of what? I ask
Plastic, or clay?
Sometimes it's hard
To see the right choice
Blinded by pride
Or sadness perhaps
If we must we must
But I ask you
Only one thing
Should we be forced
To choose our own hell?

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Too Many Questions?

What happens when the last human dies? I know it sounds very depressing but I lay awake last night for like an hour thinking about it. It feels odd to think of all the planets orbiting the sun and nothing being there to witness it. Does something exist if no one's there to know it exists. The world will go on turning, the rain will keep falling and the grass will keep growing. But there'll be no one there to witness it. If we have an ice age, will people survive it? I may invest in a lot of wooly jumpers just in case. Is there life in another universe? I mean we are the only known life in this little piece of space, our own little universe, in our own little galaxy. But what about all the other galaxies. Are there worlds out there just like ours? Another earth. With countries, weather, people. Living under a different sun. With different schools and jobs and architecture. An earth with a different history? Who knows what happened in their past. Did they have kings? Or wars? How do they speak? And is there third world countries? I may ask too many questions. But it fascinates me just how little we know about what's out there. It's nice to know that all those dots in the sky, aren't just dots. They're a sign of hope, a hope that maybe, just maybe, life exists somewhere out there.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Everyone Meet Marble

Well havn't spoken in a while. Getting my fair share of lay ins and late nights. More than my fair share if I'm honest.
I've been up to a lot of thinking as well. About people, mainly the ones around me. There's been a lot of private drama going round and I seem to be stuck in all of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm only nosy when I have to be. But a lot of stuff has just happened at once and people seem to like talking to me about it. Which is good. Cause it keeps me up to date and it helps me know my friends better. But I'm only human like the rest of us, there's only so much I can take in. So in my view everyone should have their own way of dealing with life and everything it throws at you. Let me introduce you to my marble:

Now this spherical piece of glass has got me through some tough times. It helps me think and calms me down. People who knew me 5 years ago will know what I'm talking about when I say I can be one hell of a pain in the ass. I don't know when to stop but I never mean to hurt people. So this marble takes it out of me. Everything that bugs me or worries me goes into this thing. And I feel ok again. Some days I feel like beating on something, others I get so fidgety, nothing will make me stay still. When this happens, I sit and I hold my marble. Throw it around, do a few tricks. Just something about it that gets me and my thoughts back on track.
I just hope everyone has something like my marble to help them think straight. Sure can be a lot of help.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

No More Repeats

I need sleep so badly. 2 weeks of late nights, hours upon hours of revising, and early morning wake up calls. I'm grumpy, snappy, I can't seem to get on with anyone. I hate it. It's like I'm not me. Like something is leaching from my body. All my energy, my inner strength, is gone. My thoughts are slowly returning to me and for that I'm grateful. But it's like a child took me apart, stuck me back together again in the wrong order, and was left with a screw that just didn't seem to fit anywhere, when really it holds all of me together. I don't want to talk, I don't want to eat. All I can think about is how amazing this summer is going to be. Well, what it might be if I can pull myself together. I want to enjoy this summer for myself. I want to make time for my friends, not just have it readily available, I want to get things done, not leave a day without a purpose. What's more. I want to meet someone. Not in the romantic, destiny kind of way. I just want to meet someone new. The world around me at the moment is like a movie I've watched too many times. Everything's the same. Like a song on repeat. The lyrics get all too familiar. You know what they're going to say, but you dare yourself not to say it, hoping without reason that it might be different this time. I want to make something of this year. No more repeats.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Looking Across The Canyon Alternate Ending.


Looking Across The Canyon (Alternate Ending)


by Suz Richards


Jessie stood, staring blankly at the crowds of people as they hustled past. Leaning against the lockers, she tried to act casual. People passed, their faces holding blank expressions. Friendly voices were heard above the hum of conversations, but not a single word was sent her way. She didn't want this. Why did bad things always happen to her?


Her mind lapsed back to a time long forgotten, or at least she wished it was. The day was clear in her head, like a photograph. The keys were clenched in her fist. Her head was spinning. The flames filled the night air with black smoke, it burned her eyes as she scrambled over the wall into the woods. A root caught her foot and she cried out as she fell harshly onto the ground. A broken bottle bottle lay on the floor next to her, a piece of glass deeply imbedded in her arm. She struggled on away from the blaze, unable to look back. She knew the river, she knew the canyon. She headed along the familiar path. In the air, the sound of sirens wailed, causing her heart to thump somewhere in her throat.


She reached the clearing. The moonlight shining down onto her face. her breath raced out of her mouth, forming clouds of vapour in the night air. The depths of the canyon fell into the black below her. The faint smell of a campfire lingering in the leaves. She stood staring blankly into the abyss. She'd never thought about how it would end for her. Looking into it's dark depths her mind filled with images of heaven and hell. Where would she end up?


She shifted her feet as a rock gave out beneath her. She slipped, her body tipping over the edge. She yelped, her heart skipping a beat. She flipped through the air, free falling as the walls of rock rushed past her eyes, the gloom swallowed her.


Meanwhile in a small village at the bottom of the canyon...


"For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline!" James yelled as a stubborn delivery man stood holding a clip board in his outstretched hand, looking slightly irritated.

"Well you could of told me before I set it up". James was about to let rip a stream of profanities but something caught his attention in the sky. Something was falling from the cliff. The delivery man turned to glance at what had caught the guys attention. A girl fell screaming through the air, she was heading right for them. She plummeted quickly towards the ground. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable thud.


Jessie screamed until she ran out of breath. She shut her eyes, dreading what was to come next. Her body hit something, but instead of her crumpling, the surface molded to her. Then her body was being lifted up again, she left the surface and as quickly as she had fallen, shot back up through the air. She looked down. A trampoline? Is she dreaming? The cliff face fell away beneath her and she rose up over the canyon. Her feet dropping to land on solid ground. She collapsed to her knees, tears welling in her eyes.

"Jessie Smith?" A loud voice shouted. Glancing up she saw the flashing lights before she saw the men dressed in blue, guns at the ready.

"You're under arrest on attempt of property destruction and arson."

"Aw crap" she muttered

They helped her to her feet before cuffing her and placing her into the police car.


It had been 6 months since that night. She had done her time. They had told her she could go back to school. Like it was a privilege. She tried to return to normal, but nothing, or no one, was ever the same again.

Monday, 1 June 2009

R.I.P. Bisc

R.I.P. Bisc
xxx
Always Loved
xxx
Never Forgotten

Friday, 29 May 2009

The Convict

The Convict

He stood casting his gaze out over the rolling waves. His heart, once encaged, was now free to rule this vast ocean. An overwhelming calm slid over him as his body swayed with the swell of the sea. A familiar feeling he had not realised how much he missed. What lay ahead of him he did not know, but his first objective was merely to sail as far away as possible from this god forsaken land. The year was 1702.

The cliffs dropped away to the left of him. The rope around his wrists chafed his worn skin, a single line of blood trickling down his fingers before splashing on the tanned earth before him. He walked, head held high, as the guards marched him towards the ropes. A navy tradition at Port Esquivel, any man convicted of piracy was sentenced to hang on the cliffs, a warning to other pirates. Looking forward, the sight of past comrades, now just bones, sent a chill down his spine.

He was one of the best shooters in the south sea, a match to be reckoned with when it came to swordsmanship, but he had been caught out by the drink. One rum too many had given him no chance of fighting them off when they came for him. Fifteen men had raided the inn, swords brandished. The cuffs had been on him before he was even able to stand up. A night he would not easily forget. They didn’t treat pirates kindly round these parts. He was beaten to within an inch of his life, bruises painted his skin a tinge of purple and his bones ached with every move.

The noose came slowly over his head, tightening uncomfortably around his stiff neck. The rough material scratched at his skin as they moved him closer to the cliff edge, small rocks gave way beneath his feet as he lowered his gaze towards the now threatening waves. When dropped he would enter the water, the soldiers always took this precaution, just in case the neck didn’t break, the water would finish them. The sharp prick of a sword jabbed into his back. It was time. Might as well do it with dignity, he thought. Moving one foot precariously close to the edge, he leaned forward, allowing his body weight to take him over. The wind hit him in the face as he fell through the air, the rope tightening before jerking his head backwards. Pain shot through his neck and spine but he remained conscious. The water came up fast and the chill of it stung his skin. He cursed himself, why couldn’t his neck of broken, now he would suffer the longer process of drowning.

Under the water everything blurred into one, but a glint in the corner of his eye caused him to turn. A line of shining metal was propped against the rocks. He kicked out with his legs, inching his way towards it. His thoughts had been right! A rusted sword, lost in battle long ago. Reaching out he rubbed the bonds holding his wrists against it. Slowing the rope began to fray, finally giving way and loosening before falling to the sea floor. He grabbed the sword, flinging it upwards toward the noose. He let out the last of his breath just as his neck fell free. Quickly pushing off the rocks he swam towards the surface, the cold air filling his lungs as he gasped, the pain in his chest dissipating, replaced with a welcome first breath. Above him the guards’ shouts and yells merged with the crashing of the waves on the cliffs. He swung his arms through the water, heading along the coastline towards the port.

           Reaching the harbour he pulled himself up onto the shore. His heart told him to rest but his head insisted on moving. If he stayed too long the guards would arrive. A small frigate rose up in the water, unmanned but ready to go. Hauling himself up off the sand he staggered towards the ship, climbing clumsily up one of the rope ladders. Grabbing a knife from the cabin he hacked at the ropes, freeing the boat of it’s constrictions. The whole ship jolted as a wave hit the side. Raising the anchor, he allowed the wind to fill the sails as the ship moved slowly away from the port. Looking up he saw the guards rushing towards the shoreline. Yelling for him to stop. There was no way he was stopping now. He manoeuvred the ship around, glancing at it’s compass. He was headed due east, away from land. A smile crossed over his dry, cracked lips. He was free.

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

No Sleep For The Restless

I can't sleep. It's 10 past 11 and I can't sleep. Something's keeping me up. It's like an emptiness in my head. I'm so bored. Every night, I lie in bed and I tell myself a story. As childish or immature as it sounds, it's always worked for me. Even after I read a book I still have to tell myself a story. Not so much tell, more like imagine. Some nights I follow on a story I've already started, and others it can be completely new. I've always struggled to find the perfect book. Something that I really enjoy reading over and over. For the record, I've never read a book more than once. I figure, once you know the story, you end up second guessing it the second time round. You could tell yourself it faster than reading it. So I imagine the stories that I'd want to read. You might be reading this thinking "Huh?". The next time you go to sleep. Try it. Think of your perfect story. The great thing is you can have who ever you want in it, and the plot can be whatever you want. If you don't like something you think of, you can just replay it in your head until it's right. Most nights I can do this no problem. But tonight. My heads empty. Like someone mentally mugged me.I can't will myself to think. I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep. Because I know if go to bed then I'll just lie there, thinking of nothing. Ok I need some inspiration, Google here I come. Night x

Friday, 22 May 2009

They Are The Seekers


They Are The Seekers

They are the seekers of fire
The hints of a spark
Like caffeine on the brain
Lighting their senses

They hunt it like wolves
Haunting alleys of shadow
Grouping as one
They are the seekers

No amount of flame
Will extinguish their thirst
They are at the mercy
Of their own desire

Throughout the night prowling
Never tiring or pausing
Stalking prey effortlessly
Relentless in the dark

Dawn break sees them vanish
Back into their caves
To regroup and rest
Ready for another hunt


Monday, 11 May 2009

I live in my head, is that odd to you?


I choose to live in my head because it's the one place I feel safe. I see the people that I want to see, and I'm in a place I want to be in. I can bring the people far away from me close enough to touch, and I can imagine them as I remember them best, not on their worst days.
Memories for me are hard to come by as just when I think I remember someone, I meet a completely different person in the same body. It's as if I only remember what I want to, not what's really there. I wish I had a better memory as many things are lost on me. And sometimes I built up my hopes for something which was never there in the first place. When I was a kid my family and I would go to America every other year to see my relatives. All my mums side are out there so there's about 30 people crammed into a house by Little Lake Sunapee for the summer break in New Hampshire. I love it there and it's like a second home, but for some reason it seems to be getting less homely every time I go there. To the point where I'm wondering if it was ever as good as I imagined it. There are less people there every year now, with people working, or having kids. It seems kind of empty. I miss the old days.
So some days I like to take some time out to remember the good parts of life before I forget them completly. I don't want to forget the times I spent at the lake and the people I laughed with. Even if it was so long ago.